The Truth of Our Nursery Visit With Arran
So we had Arran’s first nursery visit as a family last week. What a lovely environment for the children. We felt welcomed when we came in and the staff were friendly. The nursery screamed fun and vibrant. Everyone including the staff were busy. So much laughter. Which I love! As much as I want Arran to grow there educationally. I want him to develop physically, emotionally and mindfully. It really put us at ease to see how this nursery’s cogs turned.
I work in the education sector and I must say having the “shoe on the other foot” is rather difficult. It used to be very easy for me to say to a parent “don’t worry they will be fine and we will contact you if they aren’t settling”… well I must say that is correct but I certainly don’t get any comfort in that as a parent now. I will say this. There is nothing anyone can say to get rid or put you at ease, of that anxiety, guilt, sadness and general over worrying that you have. I actually had mum guilt and I hadn’t even left him on his own there yet.
We filled out some paper work, chatted to the girls who work in he baby room. I just loved seeing the relationships/bonds that they have with the children. The staff explained the routines in the room but reassured me they will follow the home routine to try and make it as normal as possible for Arran. 😍 Even down to what cup Arran uses we could bring it in and he can use that. Everything we chatted about Arran was the main factor and we were too. The nursery clearly has great parental partnership. Which builds some seriously strong connections. Happy children, parents and staff leads to a happy and successfully run nursery. They are totally GIRFEC!!
The baby room itself looks great. A variety of different activities and resources. A lovely cosy area with a very cosie blanket. In the book corner there were a variety of books which Arran will love. I also noticed that the nursery try and encourage independence from early on. Picking their meals and also their routines of getting their own food place mat out. Have their own peg and also their portfolio folders. The children can move between different activities in the room freely. I love that it’s so child led. With a bit of adult intervention mixed in.
The children get plenty opportunities to go outside. Which I also just adore. It doesn’t matter what age your child is at get them outside and experience the world around them. Just dress for the weather and if you live here in Scotland. Layer your clothing so much easier… 4 seasons in a day after all.
Arran interacted well with staff and the other children. I felt a little bit more at ease. Arran was happy so I was definitely happy. 🙂
So today was our first visit where we left Arran. My heart was in my mouth. I just had to bite the bullet and go… (they did have my phone number) however that was not making a difference. I just felt sick and wanted to just burst out in tears. We gave over his bag and then gave over our child. He seemed to be so interested in the toys and the girls in the room. That made me feel a bit better… As I left I looked and he was busy playing. Still, walking out that front door for an hour… I felt like I was missing a limb.
Dave and I went for a coffee and then headed back round. Got to the door and heard a child screaming… (hmmm that won’t be Arran… Wait that is Arran) oh god I felt like I couldn’t breathe… My heart was pounding out my chest. I pressed the buzzer and waiting to be let in. I felt myself walking fast round the corner. I heard Dave say slow down he will be ok. However I couldn’t help it. Oh god my heart dropped. Red eyes, puffy red cheeks and a sobbing Arran….
I. Felt. Horrible.
I wanted to apologies to him for leaving him. I felt like I had broken his trust. He just looked at me. Why did you leave me?
We were reassured he was fine up until 10 minutes ago. Another child got upset and then he got a fright. Looked for us and then started to become so upset. They tried to give him his dummy, a book out his bag and he wouldn’t settle. He did cuddle in to the girls which made me happier, I’d rather he cuddle them and get some comfort.
There were so many factors to him becoming upset.
A new place, new faces, mummy and daddy weren’t there, new surroundings/sounds and he was needed a nap.
I just couldn’t help but squeeze him tight. I felt so at fault for him feeling this way. No amount of chat or advice will change how you feel as a mother when your child is upset. Believe me, I am aware of the positives that Arran will gain from nursery but at the same time it just sucks.
We had a discussion with the staff about arranging more visits for Arran. So we have one every day this week.
My anxiety is through the roof. I’m going back to work soon. I’m leaving my baby boy. I feel like I’m going to be a newbie going back to work. How on earth am I going to keep on top of everything, how am I going to remember everything, time is flying so fast, Arran is growing so fast, I’m going to miss out on so much, what if I miss his firsts?
I don’t think people understand and every mummy/daddy goes through this so differently. I must say il put my hand up and say I’m totally struggling. Don’t get me wrong there is a side of me that can’t wait to get stuck back into work.
Right, let’s see how these other visits go. I think il be needing another gin tomorrow night tomorrow is going to be repeat of today.
Let’s make memories count ❤
I know my time will be so precious with my little boy on weekends and holidays and I guarantee il appreciate it more.
This part of being a mum sucks so much. Nothing will prepare you for it. I’m hoping as time goes on we will get used to this transition in life… or il just be dropping and picking up an upset child forever 🙃… I hope not. 😂